


Flinch

by Everyoneisheretoday5



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: 2nd chapter is cute, But it’s just me projecting onto a character, F/F, Issues with Touch, Jumpiness, The lumity is kinda minor in here, and this is more of a character study than anything, more lumity, not much projection there but it gets stuff actoss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everyoneisheretoday5/pseuds/Everyoneisheretoday5
Summary: She hates when people make fun of her for being the way she is. She doesn’t know why she’s even like this in the first place.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 7
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

Amity Blight wasn’t… usually on guard. 

At least, she thought she wasn’t. She didn’t really have a reason to be, she thought. It was just regular old school, with regular people, so there wasn’t really any logical reason for her actions.

But it became obvious when she walked through the halls, once she wasn’t trying to appear better than everyone else, and shrunk into herself, trying to make herself little as possible. People would brush against her shoulder and she’d shy away, biting back an aggressive remark the best she could. Titan, she hated hallways.

And she hated the noise. Especially the sudden ones, the ones that told her a fire spell had whooshed past her ear, the ones that made her jump back and look around and get startled for seemingly no reason at all. People would stare at her,  _ look at Amity, so jumpy,  _ and then laugh, and she  _ despised  _ it. It wasn’t her fault loud noises scared her. 

It wasn’t her fault either that sudden movements made her flinch, or that she hated being touched. What was so hard for people to understand? No, she didn’t want an arm looped around her shoulder as she walked, it was heavy and awkward and foreign and wrong, and she wanted it  _ off.  _ She didn’t want hands in her hair, bodies brushing against her arms, sudden hugs from behind that she couldn’t predict. Who cared if she growled? Growling got people to go away. 

And if they thought she was weird, that was their fault. Respecting boundaries is common sense. 

She made an exception for Luz, because Luz was somehow easier to predict. Luz didn’t come from nowhere with a snarky remark and a smug grin, or harsh words and an effort to keep her in line. Her touches were all care and kindness and excitability, and Amity could tell just from her personality that if Amity ever told her to ask first, she would. 

Everyone else would just shrug it off, and ask why it was necessary. And then keep doing it.

And if she was being honest, Luz  _ did  _ scare her sometimes. She’d come bounding her way yelling “Amity!!” and Amity would flinch, and then recover, and Luz would say nothing. She never went “why are you so scared? Why are you so jumpy? Why do you flinch?” And then laugh. She never did that. It was a blessing, and even though she didn’t interact with them as much, Gus and Willow never commented on it either. Heck, Willow was probably more aware of it than Luz was. But she said nothing. And Amity was grateful for that.

The twins knew everything though, and they used it for their own humor. “Hey Amity, CATCH!” They’d yell out of nowhere, and chuck some harmless object at her at top speed. And then Amity, seeing the object out of the corner of her eye and not knowing what else to do, would hide her face behind her raised hands and brace for impact as she always did. Even when she knew it was a prank. 

And then they’d laugh at her and say “see?! She’s so tense,” and leave it to that, joking among themselves about how their little sister got scared at every little thing. 

She hated it. So much. 

She didn’t have to be this way. She didn’t know anyone else who instantly went to protect themselves at anything sudden, or tensed up when someone touched them, and in her mind, there was no reason for it. She didn’t remember an exact memory where the habits developed. Although her parents were assholes who controlled every aspect of her life, they had never done anything to physically put her in danger. So it just didn’t make sense. 

And with all the physical affection that Luz gave Amity, Amity found she couldn’t give much back. It was frustrating. She’d see Luz and Willow hug, or Gus and Luz do something with Luz’s hand on Gus’s shoulder, or his hand on her arm, and feel jealous, not because they were touching her, but because she didn’t have a the capacity to do it herself.

She wanted to though. She wanted to hug Luz back for once, or give her one slightly unprompted, or sit so close together that their shoulders were touching, or hold hands, or something like that. Something with physical affection. Luz seemed to love physical affection, so why couldn’t she give it to her? 

She’d sit there, watching her, and think over and over again,  _ give her a hug, give her a hug, give her a hug like a goddamn normal person because you’re her friend and friends hug sometimes out of nowhere right?  _ But she’d overthink it, and go over all the consequences of her actions, and before she knew it, the opportunity was up and she had spent yet another 10 minutes staring at Luz. Great. 

And she could just ask! But the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. She was too nervous. It was so much easier when Luz was the one initiating it, opening her arms, extending her hand. 

She didn’t even know how the hell Grom had happened. What kind of confidence did she have back then?! Why didn’t she have it now?! What event gave her the ability to dance with Luz, especially that close?? She wanted to bang her head into a wall. Why didn’t she always have that skill? 

She didn’t know.

And so another day would pass, full of making herself small as possible, throwing her hands up, wishing that people would stop brushing by her, getting scared at everything sudden, and never being able to have the ability to touch and be touched as casually as the girl she had a crush on. 

Maybe she’d get there eventually. But for now, that’s how it is. 

And thank god that Luz, Willow, and Gus had never said that they think less of Amity for it. They were the best people Amity knew. 


	2. Luz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luz realizes a few things, and works to better her relationship with Amity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a story chapter than a character study, and this time it’s from Luz’s POV! Featuring: awkward teenagers and communication.

Despite what some people might have thought, Luz  _ was  _ perceptive. 

Sure, it hadn’t quite hit her when she walked into school on Grom night that there was a celebration, but when it came to people and the smaller things, she took notice of everything. It was like collecting research.

Ever since becoming friends with Amity, Luz has noticed that something about Amity felt… off? Not off. Just that her mannerisms were a bit different from everyone else. And that was okay.

But the way that these mannerisms appeared was a bit worrying to Luz. Watching from afar, and remembering how she was before Luz finally got her to put some of her walls down, Amity always seemed tense when around other people. Shoulders hunched up, ears tilted down even when she had her signature glare on, especially in the hallways. Before, Amity would snap at people who brushed by her, and now she just kept silent and tried to make herself even smaller. Luz wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

Luz remembered how she had hugged Amity on impulse when they had gone inside Willow’s memories ( _ teamwork, baby! _ ) and Amity had gone straight and stiff in her arms. She could have sworn that she relaxed for the tiniest of seconds, but she got tense again as the Inner Willow climbed out of the pond. 

And that’s how it was every time Luz hugged her, or just touched her in some way, being that she was naturally an incredibly affectionate person. Their lives intertwined with hustle and bustle and danger, so it wasn’t a surprise that Amity never relaxed while in Luz’s arms. She didn’t have enough time to put her guard down.

Even when Luz wasn’t touching her, Amity seemed to be a bit high-strung. She remembered one day she had quietly waited at Amity’s locker with Amity’s back turned to her, and once Amity turned around, her hands instantly flew up and she flinched. 

( _ Oh! Luz! You scared me for a second there, sorry about that)  _

Or how once Luz had done some kind of dramatic pose, bringing her fist into the air, and Amity, being next to her, had done the exact same thing, minus bringing her hands up as if she was in a boxing ring. 

Luz pretended to pay it no mind, but really, thoughts about how people usually reacted to sudden movements swirled in her head. 

_ I want to let her know that she’s always safe with me!  _ Luz thought, feeling a wave of protectiveness wash over her. It was quickly dispelled by something a bit more negative.  _ But what if it’s not because of danger, or fear, but the dislike of touch in the first place? Ignoring the fact that she gets scared at sudden movements, we can figure that out later.  _

It made sense. Amity never touched  _ her  _ after all. It was just Luz initiating affection. Amity never brushed her shoulder, (and if she did accidentally, she’d mutter a quick apology and move away) or held her hand, or did anything like that. The only time Luz could remember her initiating affection was at Grom. 

Which… was a weird night. Luz wasn’t sure how it fit into the equation. 

Luz remembered that Amity had stiffened up, even when  _ kids  _ were hugging her. Braxus hugged her leg back when Luz caught her reading to kids, and even though he clearly posed no threat, Amity still looked uncomfortable. 

_ Aw crap- frick I’ve been disrespecting her boundaries this entire time haven’t I?  _ Luz thought, groaning aloud.  _ Now what do I do? Will she get suspicious if I stop doing stuff like hugging her? I don’t want her to think I don’t like her, but I also don’t want her to feel uncomfortable…  _

After a few seconds of thought, Luz came up with a plan. 

_ Asking her about her boundaries, obviously. Oh my god.  _

  
  
  
  


The next day at school, Luz watched Amity, and kept herself in check.

_ Don’t hug her without warning. Don’t do stuff she (probably?) doesn’t like. Just to be safe.  _

When Luz came to meet Amity at the beginning of the day, she didn’t wrap her in a hug. She wasn’t sure how Amity felt about that. At the skip in routine, Luz could have sworn her hand raised up a bit, as if she was going to be the one to hug Luz instead, but she quickly put it back down, and the day continued as usual. 

It was hard for Luz to stop herself from being touchy. So she settled for being a bit more affectionate than usual with Gus and Willow, draping an arm around Gus’s shoulders, or clinging to Willow in some way. Neither of them minded.

(Gus  _ was  _ questioning it, but he chalked it up to Luz being more happy or excited. Willow was used to it.)

At the end of the day, Luz offered for Amity to meet her in the library for the Azura Book Club, and she agreed. 

Now, sitting in Amity’s secret room, silence encompassing them as they sat on opposite sides and read independently, Luz looked over the top of her book and yearned for physical contact. That was a usual thing, and she usually went through with it with whatever friend was nearby. She wasn’t sure what it was, she just loved being close to other people. She wanted to go over, and plop down next to Amity in her beanbag, and rest her head on her shoulder  _ so badly  _ but she kept still. And the words for her question swirled around in her brain, waiting for her to make a move. 

Amity seemed to still be engrossed in her book, but eventually she looked over the top of it, and caught Luz’s stare. 

_ Now’s probably a good time to break the silence,  _ Luz thought, eyes darting away nervously.  _ Pray to the Titan I don’t mess this up.  _

“So- “ Luz started, voice crackling through the air. Amity made the smallest of movements. “I’ve noticed that- uhm… do you want me to ask before hugging you? And other stuff?”

Amity’s eyes widened, and she put down the book she had in her hands sheepishly. 

“How do you feel about physical affection? You always seem to stiffen up when I hug you, so I was wondering if you don’t like it, or if you want me to stop-“ 

“No, no it’s fine!!” Amity exclaimed, tapping her legs with her hands quickly, a small blush on her face. “It’s okay, I like it, coming from you.” 

Luz bit her lip. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I mean- asking first would be really nice,” Amity admitted, looking off to the side. “Because unprompted stuff startles me a lot. And I don’t like being touched that often, but… I think you’re different, because you’ve never had any ill-intention towards me. Trustworthy, and stuff like that.” 

Luz could practically feel herself melt.  _ I’m trustworthy?! Aishehaisjkaksksjdjoehwajkak- _

“And also, if I’m going to be honest here, I do want to give you back some of that affection you keep giving me,” Amity held her hands out in front of her, palms up, and frowned. “But I don’t know how to. It’s either I don’t have enough confidence, or I’m too scared to, or something like that, but I just can’t. But if the thought matters, I do want to be affectionate with you, like that.”

Luz furrowed her brow, (the thoughts about Amity actually wanting to be affectionate with her and the implications of that haven’t set in yet) before coming up with an idea and quietly coming over to where Amity was sitting. Amity still had her hands out, but she pulled them away instinctively as Luz came near. 

“Maybe I can teach you?... or something like that,” Luz trailed off. She held out one hand, almost as if she were a prince in a fairy tale. “Uhm…try holding this?”

Amity stared at Luz’s outstretched hand for a second or two, before awkwardly holding out her own, and placing it into Luz’s. 

“Are you sure about this? I’m always worried that you don’t want me to touch you,” Amity said. 

“Amity, I’malways good with you touching me! I crave physical affection almost 24/7, ha-“ Luz said confidently, trailing off with a bit of nervousness at the end.  _ Kinda wondering now why I’m like that. Must be because me and Mami used to be really affectionate with each with eachother back on Earth…  _ “Anyways, don’t be afraid to! I’m good with pretty much anything, unless you’re going to kiss me out of nowhere or something like that.” 

Amity’s face turned bright red at Luz’s statement, and shook her head vigorously. “Who would- who would even do that, you’re supposed to ask first, and also ahhauswiahjsjasn I don’t wanna kiss you-“ 

“Ahahaha- yeah-“ Luz could feel her face heat up.  _ Why did I say that?!  _ “Anyways- stuff is okay!! If it’s okay with you! And I’ll ask next time I’ll hug you, and respect your boundaries and all that stuff…” 

She trailed off, Amity’s hand still limp in hers, small and warm. Amity nodded shyly, and then experimentally intertwined their fingers together, loosely. 

Luz smiled giddily, holding their intertwined hands up in the air. “Heck yeah, you did it!”

Amity giggled. “Yeah- I guess I did.” 

Deciding to take a bit of a chance on a surge of confidence, Luz’s voice picked up in the way that she was used to. “Now- is it okay if I sit really close to you in that beanbag, and read that book with you? It’s the newest in the series right?” 

“Yep, it is,” Amity replied, picking the book off the floor and moving over, making room for Luz. “This mostly focuses on Hecate and Azura getting to know eachother, I think.” 

“Aw heck yeah, bonding!” Luz sat down next to Amity, and they began to read where Amity left off. Luz was aware that Amity still seemed stiff for the first couple of seconds, legs and shoulders and arms touching, but as time passed…. she relaxed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small steps are good! Also, consent is important. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the bland fic, I just wanted to write out something to get some of my frustration out. Amity seemed like a good choice because it seems like she’s kinda adverse to touch in canon already. Anyways this fic is purely just me projecting onto Amity, hope you enjoyed and/or found it relatable? (Also pssst consent is important for things like hugs sometimes, we should totally normalize that)


End file.
